Comical Confessions

No one is perfect. Here are some of my incredibly few flaws/quirks.
  • I can count on one hand how many Marvel movies I've seen. It started out as just not having the chance to watch them in the theater, but at the rate they rerun on FX, I'm kind of just doing it on purpose at this point.
  • Same goes for all the hit shows on cable and Netflix. I have such a short attention span for getting into shows, so at this point, with many of these critically-acclaimed shows reaching over five seasons, these are shows I'll probably never watch.
  • I like driving stick shift because I think it's fun, but I tell people I can drive stick so they think I'm cool. It never works.
  • When I was a kid, I had a Windows 98 computer. I was terrified of the Windows 98 startup sound, and I still am today. 
  • I keep buying Fords because I like the keypad on the door.
  • I like linear television and terrestrial/satellite/live radio because I feel less lonely; somewhere out there is another human being curating a playlist of entertainment, and that's a feeling of unity I cannot adequately describe. Which is why I can incredibly relate to that John Mulaney joke where his wife can't understand why he would want to watch a movie he owns on cable TV.
  • I really want to grow a horseshoe mustache but I lack the ability to connect the mustache to the chin hair adequately. I've used that word twice now, but here it makes me sad that I have to use it.
  • I really want to relearn how to play piano just so I can play Billy Joel/Elton John music.
  • If Layla is playing, and it gets to the ending part, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING CAN INTERRUPT THE MUSIC.
  • I think Weird Al and Conan O'Brien are magnificent and there's very little you can do to change my mind. Same goes for Fred Stoller (whose autograph I have and I'm very proud of this fact), Allen Covert, and Eddie Deezen.
  • I bought 1,000 RadioShack bags because my local RadioShack was closing, and when your near-closing RadioShack is selling 1,000 RadioShack bags, you're not going to not buy them. I'm sure they will be worth something someday.
  • I own some 12 computers. A Lenovo IdeaCentre K320, Yoga 2 Pro, two ThinkPad X120e's, ThinkPad 11e Chromebook, Dell Latitude D630, Latitude E6510, Apple iBook G3 12 inch, iBook G4 14 inch, PowerBook 12 inch, Jide Remix Mini, and the Chip $9 computer. I don't have a problem, you do.

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